When I act as a Divorce Mediator, I don't represent either person.  My job is to give both of you information and guide you to a mutual settlement.  If you can't come to an agreement, I can't represent either of you against the other person. 

Divorce mediation still feels like a new idea here in Yuma, but it's increasingly well-known and widely accepted around most of the country.   Mediation means different things to different people.   In the form I recommend, you and your spouse would sit down in the same room with each other with me as a neutral mediator.   With my help, you would work through all the issues you need to resolve so the two of you can get through your divorce.  After you reach a total agreement about everything, you would then mutually agree on utilizing an attorney to file a non-contested dissolution.

Mediation is flexible and confidential. It gives you and your spouse a way to settle the conflict between you, which is natural and inevitable.  It is our goal that you be able to work out an agreement to divide your real and personal property and if there are children, to be able to also make agreements as to custody, visitation and child support. If you have children, we want to limit the animosity and help you to work together as parents after your divorce.

The mediator remains neutral between the husband and the wife.  That means the mediator can't give advice to either party, and also can't act as a lawyer for either party.   But, I can tell you what the law is and answer your questions.  I can't do anything behind the other persons back.  When you enter into mediation, you will agree that anything that you tell me, I will be able to tell your spouse.  Games aren't played and everything is open and fair.

What the mediator can do, though, is to point out in open session to both spouses things that each of them should be aware of about what they're trying to accomplish.  That open and free exchange of information frees up both spouses to negotiate with each other in confidence.  Because both spouses are working with the same base of information, it usually takes far less time to negotiate a resolution that makes sense to both spouses. 

You're welcome to bring your lawyer to mediation if you want to, or you can use your lawyer as an advisor between sessions.  Don't let your lawyer make you feel that you must pay him or her to be with you during mediation.  That's strictly up to you.

Mediation is voluntary.  It continues only for so long as all three of you - you, your spouse, and the mediator -- want it to.  You or your spouse can withdraw from mediation at any time, for a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason at all.

People often ask, "Does Mediation Really Work"?  In a word, yes. We know from research that when you compare couples who have mediated their divorce with couples who go through a contested divorce, mediating couples are more likely to be satisfied with the process and the results, likely to take less time and spend less money, and are less likely to go back to court later to fight about something.

The main advantage of mediation is that it keeps you and your spouse in control of your own divorce.  That can make all the difference in your recovering from your divorce and moving on with your life.  Mediation allows the two of you to get through your divorce with less conflict than you would experience in an adversarial divorce.  Because mediation is all about working with shared knowledge, mediation also often allows you and your spouse to work together to lower your attorney's fees . . . . . and that can often translate to more money for you.

A contested divorce can cost tens and many, many tens of thousands of dollars.  A mediated divorce normally costs a fraction of the cost of a contested divorce.  A mediated divorce ends up being filed as a non-contested divorce because each of you, if mediation is successful, agrees on everything.  Statistically, mediation is successful in over 80% of the mediated divorces.  If mediation is not successful, you can still go through a contested divorce.